So before I went veggie, I bought some tickets to a steak night for work. I LOVE steak. Love love love. From the day I started to the second that steak was put in front of my face, I struggled with the option of trading my steak for extra potatoes, or just eating it. I mean, I've been vegetarian for one week. That was my goal when I started this. One week, see how I feel, and then continue, or go back to the gold old days. I ate that steak like it was the last piece of cow I would ever see. It was fucking amazing. I don't know if it was the fact that I haven't eaten any animal flesh in the last week or not, but it was incredible. To be honest, I believe it was medium well (and I eat my steak rare) and small, and thin, but it was soooooooo delicious. This last week has been completely unsatisfying no matter what I've eaten. I could eat just cheese all day and it still wouldn't fill me up right. I'm gonna keep on this thing, because it has made me feel great, and, I've suffered an insurmountable amount of stress lately and being vegetarian was the only thing that I felt I could control at the time.
It was one thing after another. Betty "missing", then Grandpa dying, then Betty MISSING. Not to mention the normal daily stresses. I really want to talk about how my heart has been broken worse than it has ever before, but the story will be missing a lot of pieces to spare my sister's privacy, so forgive me. Betty decided to go on a trip to see Danny's family in Strathmore, Alberta. She didn't tell anyone because she was only planning to be gone two days. A few unexpected tragedies occurred and they ended up staying longer. Betty didn't bring her phone, and by the time word got back to us of where they were, Betty and Danny were on their way home. Betty didn't bring her cell phone and she didn't touch a computer until she got home. Within a couple hours of her being home a fight ensued between her and the rest of my family, and she ended up staying with Danny for what seemed was going to be eternity. We had finally given her an ultimatum to either leave Danny and come home, or lose us completely. She had chosen the latter.
The last time I talked to her, it seems that she is seriously thinking about what is best for her. I love her madly and I would be more than happy to give her and Danny my blessing and see them live happily ever after, but right now, they both need some real help. I haven't talked to her in a couple days, but mostly because I'm afraid to.
Landon leaves for Detroit in 2 hours and 10 minutes. He is going to be gone until Tuesday night. That means I have a funeral to go to without him. I am only going to be half myself the whole time Landon is gone. I'm usually very strong in times like this, but I'm afraid that I am going to break down on Tuesday. I won't have my kids to keep me strong, and I'll have to watch my mother and father cry. One small thing will break the seal and the waterworks will pour like Angel Falls.
I don't have anything else to say right now.
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