I'm Really Into Folk Music Right Now

I don't understand how it's possible to feel so smothered and so lonely at the same time.  I just want everyone to leave me the hell alone but not leave my side.  I try to talk about my feelings to some people, or I talk about my behaviour that comes from my feelings.  It seems like there is no one out there like me.  It seems like I am out on my own little life adventure, but completely by myself.  I meet people and I form relationships but I am still alone.  No matter where I go, who I meet, what I do, or who I become, I am always going to be alone.

Eff You Death.

The wristband that I inherited from Matt rarely leaves my wrist.  When I type, I have to take the wristband off and I become very distant from him.  I like to have him everywhere possible, but only in small doses.  It's not like I have a portrait tattoo of him.  That would be weird.  At most, I have my phone's lock screen a picture of him.  Recently, I rearranged my living room and now have a framed picture of him and I on my desk, to left of my monitor. I also have a photo of him in my bathroom beside the mirror, and in my car just above the rear view mirror.  I miss him so much, but I get to see him every single day.  It makes me very happy.

I'm Really Gonna Miss You, Twinkies.

You know how you listen to a song and you think/feel different things, and some songs you're really emotional about and other songs you're really just fucking stupid?  Like, I LOVE Bad Romance because it's like super intense and sounds really fun and is BEAUTIFUL to look at.  I also love really good technically good songs.  Like Lateralus.  It's all like, "I'm mathematical, and cool.  Bitch".

Sometimes you listen to a song and you feel all dreamy and romantic and maybe even your heart will cry tears of joy or whatever that feeling is when you're so happy for love.  When I hear Spirit In The Sky, or Bittersweet Symphony, or Good Mother.

Sometimes you listen to a song and you just wanna act like a total ass.  Let out your inner Lorraine and get the fuck down. If you play Party Rock Anthem, Lonely Boy, Without Me, Bohemian Rhapsody, Calabria 2000, and pretty much any Tenacious D songs; I will end up making a total ass out of myself.  It's so much fun.

I'm listening to Bohemian Rhapsody right now.  If I was home alone right now, I would totally record myself singing to this song.  And drumming with pencil crayons.

Sometimes you listen to song that make your heart cry tears of pain and sorrow.  I can't listen to Just Like Honey or Only or Hurt (Johnny Cash version) without getting really sad at one point within those few minutes.  So sad that I may even cry.

 I want someone to sing Undisclosed Desires to me.