Well I say, "NUTS to that!"
Was that two lady elks making out?
LANDON WHY AREN'T YOU LISTENING TO ME?! WE NEED TO WRITE AN
OPERA!!!!!!!
When I'm alone, I listen to rap music, curl
my top lip up and dance like a wangster.
It's awesome and you're jealous.
My hands flail.
Sasquatch,
Godzilla, King Kong
Lochness,
Goblin, Ghoul, a zombie with no conscience
question
what do all these things have in common
everybody
knows I’m a motherfucking monster
conquer,
stomp ya, stop your silly nonsense
none of
you n-words know where the swamp is
none of
you n-words have seen the carnage that I’ve seen
I still
hear fiends scream in my dream murder
murder in black convertibles
I kill a
block I murder avenues rape and pillage a village, women and children
everybody
wanna know what my Achilles' heel is
Love I
don't get enough of it
all I
get is these vampires and blood suckers
all I
see is these n-words I’ve made
millionaires
milling
about, spilling there feelings in the air
all I
see is these fake fucks with no fangs
tryna
draw blood with my ice cold veins
I smell
a massacre
seems to
be the only way to back you bastards up
I often wonder about whether I'm cool.
After a lot of thought though, I always
come to the conclusion that yes, I am cool.
I really like when people that I don't
follow on Facebook, comment or like my posts.
There was but a single egg withholding me
from baking Coca-Cola cupcakes tonight.
Dammit.
I've never seen Terminator. I want to watch it.
My happy place isn't really a tangible
place. It's much more a state of mind,
like a sense, or an understanding, or an acceptance. Questions and complexities are non
existent. I don't know anything but I
don't care. I'm so meh. So chill. So at peace.
I get to this place by way of intense
stimulation.
I really want to go karaokeing to sing
Tenacious D's "Fuck Her Gently" to a large group of strangers. It really is one of my favourite love songs.
#YOLO is dumb. I hate it.
All I think when I see YOLO is, "WELL DUH! You've always known that you only live once. Don't act like Drake was a genius or
something."
Now you're just applying the 'yolo' notion
to DUMB ASS RETARDED things. Like
"I shot a dude. YOLO
LOL!" You're a dipshit. And your face looks stupid when you say it.
Have you learned that God doesn't exist?
I can't sleep on folds
Sometimes I think I'm a bully.
There are some times, when I feel so much
pain in my soul
It feels as if my soul is so depressed,
that is has become suicidal. My soul's
heart is broken and it's will has been beaten. There is nothing that can make
my soul feel joyful ever again.
There are some times when I feel so much
pain in my heart.
My physical heart can sometimes ache so
badly that I have to put a hand to my chest and bend forward at the waist,
bringing my knees in close and falling to the ground on my side. I have laid there, in a fetal position,
weeping from the agony and hopelessness.
I have survived this before though. I have beaten this feeling before and felt
happy again.
I'm pretty sure Canada loves
pedophiles. What's up with that? Canada, wtf?
If I were to just type out the dialogue
from an episode of Adventure Time, and submit that as a work of art, would that
be cool?
Natalie Portman is my number one.
I REALLY want to do Lumpy Space Princess
impersonations while having sex.
I really want some marshmallows.
I could write a wicked cartoon
Landon often tries to warn me of the
consequences I would receive, if I were to reveal too much of myself over the
internet
I can't respect Charlie Sheen as an actor
anymore. Yes he has talent, but all I
see when I watch him is 'crazy'. I miss pre tiger blood Charlie.
I get excited about myself
STOP BEING FUCKING JEALOUS AND CLINGY! Just relax and enjoy your relationship man.
I sort of want to watch America's Next Top
Model.
You don't care about fat people who stink?
What if I tell you I put my balls on that?
Landon I'm your wife. That doesn't bother
me.
Then let me put my balls on that.
No! Prior to me eating this cheesecake, you
put your balls on it, and now that I have eaten half of it, you reveal this
secret to me...I DON'T GIVE A SHIT. I'm eating this cheesecake. IF you were to
put your balls on my cheesecake now, I would not continue to eat it.
Well, can I put them on your chin then?
Let me hear your pig snort