Nipple Tassles

My Auntie Denise, her wonderful children, and her wonderful grandchildren. My favourite male cousin got married this last weekend. I highly doubt he will ever read this, but just in case, I am going to keep my feelings about his bride to myself. I'd rather wait until someday far from now to reveal them, if ever. He is happy, she loves him, and that is what matters most. I am truly happy for him. I am very very proud of him. I never thought in a million years anyone would want to marry him. Don't get me wrong, he is a great catch, as long as you don't count financial stability into the equation, which most women do, so that's why I never thought he would find someone. He always goes for the high maintenance ladies, and those kind of ladies do not appreciate someone bad with money. The Bride however, seems to not care about that. She really loves him for him, and that's nice. His sister came out from Ontario for the wedding, which was WONDERFUL because I rarely ever see her yet her and I are very very close. Her daughter Telysa, whom I had never met and is 13!, came with her. I fell in love the second I saw her, literally. She is drop dead fucking gorgeous. Olive skin, perfect little freckles, beautiful beautiful eyes, tall, thin, GORGEOUS I am so jealous hair, and boobs! Lots of boobs! I had nothing near boobs when I was 13. Bitch. My favourite female cousin (Rhonda)'s twins, Denver(boy) and Mackenzie(girl) didn't come, which is too bad since they're the same age as Hayden, but meh, she couldn't afford it and boy can I relate to that! The weekend was fantastic. I felt like a kid, running and laughing all over the WDM with my brother and little cousin acting like we were all 13, setting off alarms and scaring the crap out of little kids. It was awesome. There was only one thing missing all week, my Auntie Denise. GOD do I miss her. I thought the pain would ease, but it hasn't. It keeps creeping up at the most unexpected times, and of course, the most expected times. I cried so much this weekend. Tears of joy, tears of laughter, and tears of sadness. Only someone who has lost a close loved one can understand the pain I feel. Looking over at her picture right now I try and think of the happy times with Auntie. She fucking laughed more than any adult I knew. That's what I think about most when I think of her. Her laugh. She would've had a blast watching my brother, little cousin and I acting like children. She would've cried tears of joy to see us all together. She would've been the proudest mom in the world to watch her only son get married. She would NOT however, have condoned the bride. This bothers me. I know, and Rhonda knows, that Auntie would have had more than a few things to say about Bride. I don't think this would have happened, or at least happened happily, if Auntie was here. I wonder if she can see what's happening, and I wonder if she has now accepted it, and knows that Bride truly madly deeply loves Richard and knows that she will treat him right, all the days of her life. I would like to think so, and that makes me feel slightly more at peace. I love my Auntie. I miss her badly. Rhonda cousin looks like her. Scarily like her.

My family means the world to me, and I always want what's best for them, and I know deep down in my soul that this Bride and Groom were meant for each other. Rhonda knows it too, and like I said, I like to think my Auntie does too. I would've liked to hear what she had to say though, and I would've loved to see Bride storm out of the room in her better-than-thou attitude, only to realize that she was now alone, because there is no way in hell Ricky would ever choose anyone over his mother. The phrase "Over my dead body!" will never be spoken out of my mouth ever again, because until now, I had no idea that it could be taken so literally. Rest in peace Auntie. Please.