I Feel Like Flying

I'm changing. I'm always changing, except that right now its very drastic. In some good ways and in some bad ways. Those closest to me (Landon) are having a difficult time embracing my changes and even though I can understand where they're coming from, I really just wish I could be left alone to find myself in peace. Actually, I'm not sure I believe that I will ever "find myself". I've been learning and therefore growing and changing my opinions and views my entire life. I was once very quiet, conservative, religious, naive and judgmental. Honestly, I really attribute my current personality to my creepiness. I'm a major creep. I used to say, "I just like to watch people", but I've finally wholeheartedly embraced the fact that I just like to know who you are. So, because of this creepy curiosity, I learn. I get inspired. I empathize. I embrace parts of that I used to hide, because I see them in you. So I'm changing who I am and I'm scared that I am losing the people who have known me forever, and can't understand why I'm a different person. I have a problem with delving a lot of information about myself. I am not a mystery. But, because I am passionate about a particular subject at a particular time, and express those feelings out loud, if I ever change those opinions, I get ridiculed. Why aren't I allowed to grow? Why aren't I allowed to learn and become a better me? I'm much more happy with who I am as a person than I was 2 years ago, and even more so 4 years ago, and more so 6 years ago, and so on. This is who I am. I am grounded, and I do have my core values that you will not ever fuck with no matter how hard you try, but one of those is my open mind and willingness to listen. So let me be. Let me grow.