Gobble Gobble

Good evening! Beautiful day eh? The sun was shining, the snow was falling, the turkey was cooking. Mmmmmmm Thanksgiving. I really couldn't have asked for a better day to remind me of what to be thankful for. When the weather is exactly to my liking, I can't seem to find anything that will bother me! Even the fact that I haven't seen my family in what seems like forever, and won't be seeing them at all this weekend, can't put me down. I mean, Thanksgiving should be a time when loved ones gather 'round and tell each other how much they love each other, and how thankful they are to have them in their lives, but again, such a gorgeous day, how can I think of how shitty it is that for the last three years, my mother has decided that Thanksgiving no longer deserves to be acknowledged? I get to go to my ma in law's, with all her siblings and such, and laugh and play and have an all around great time, eating delicious traditional Ukranian/Canadian cuisine that I personally did not help to create making that in itself a wonderful thing, all the while thinking about my family, and how wonderful it would be to be able to hang out with them. I remember when Thanksgiving was the ONE time of year when not only my immediate family, but my Auntie and cousin Richard as well, would all get together. Even at Christmas it wasn't likely Richard would be there. He was usually in Ontario or whatever. Thanksgiving was my favourite time of year for a long time. The weather, the anticipation of Halloween, the fucking turkey and pumpkin pie. Richard and my Auntie have always been considered part of my immediate family, but when she died, Richard decided he didn't need us anymore. He's been slowly wandering way ever since but now that his wifey is officially part of his immediate family, its a definite fact that he doesn't need us anymore. I think that's the main reason why my mom doesn't do Thanksgiving anymore. Its not because it reminds her too much of her sister, but because she can't deal with the heartbreak she feels when she realizes what Richard thinks of us. Don't get me wrong, I adore him more than ever, and always try to understand his reasons for leaving, but just one of these years, I would love for him to call and ask if he can come over for Thanksgiving. We've offered too many times only for him to decline. It's up to him now.

Today I am thankful for the obvious; my boys, my husband, my health and shelter and all that....but I am mostly thankful for the pain I feel whenever I think about those I've lost. If it weren't for that, I might never have realized how important they were to me. It's that pain that makes me love those who I love, and show them. I love you Landon, Amanda, Andrea, Sarah, Nicole, Betty, Johnathan, Elena and whoever else reads this that I don't know. Have a Happy Thanksgiving, and take a note: Never hesitate to show your love. Never expect love in return. Just be happy knowing that you let that person know that someone loves them. They'll remember that when they're at their worst, and you could very well be saving their life. All you need is love. Its easy.