This post is going to chronicle my addictions/dependencies. Hopefully by writing them down, and on a public forum, it will help me to fix these problems which are MUCH easier to fix than the mental disorders from which I currently suffer...AND by fixing these, I will fix my mental disorders a little bit.
Caffeine/Taurine/Energy Drinks - I currently consume a shitload of caffeine on a daily basis. Average 3 energy drinks a day PLUS several cups of black coffee. I absolutely will not be giving up coffee anytime soon but the energy drinks MUST go. ASAP. I have terrible headaches, I can't sleep ever, my body feels heavy and difficult to move and my heart races so fast and beats so hard that I can feel it in my neck. My body also has severe withdrawal affects when I "miss a dose". Landon and I are on a mission to cut my dependency by replacing these energy drinks with vitamin supplements. I've only had one so far and I already felt and incredible difference.
Nicotine - Oh cigarettes. I often sit and wonder what it would be like to not want you. Being told by someone with a crinkled up nose and disgusted look on their face that I smell like smoke helps to make me want to quit you.
THC - I've been partaking in the act of smoking marijuana for years, but not until recently have I become dependant on it to help me with several things, including sleep, sex, and stresslessness. Yes I made that last word up to fit with the other esses. The SECOND my kids are safely asleep in their beds, I get everything ready so I can go outside and forget that I feel like my soul is trying to break free from my body. Once my mind is at the most peaceful place it can be, I fucking relax, and its GREAT. The problem with this (I know I didn't really think there was one either) is that I cannot sleep, sex or stressless myself happily without it. That's clearly a dependency.
Pain - I MUST feel hurt every single day, sometimes several times a day. Feeling pain is the ONLY thing that keeps me from losing my shit on everyone for being fucking assholes. I have no fucking idea why.
Facebook - Sounds stupid I know but Facebook provides me with socializing, arguing, educating, humouring, and enjoying myself. Instead of supplementing my life with Facebook, I orbit my life around it. Everything I do must be something worthy of posting on Facebook, or its not interesting to me. I absolutely cannot go more than an hour without checking it. I'm on it right now. Nothing has changed since I last checked it 5 minutes ago.
Sugar - I really don't need to explain this one. Its fucking sweet, delicious, wonderful sugar.
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