I Really Want To Stop Crying

Even though I am surrounded by people who provide me with endless and unconditional love and support, I still feel the loneliest I have ever felt in my entire life. My sister and I had discussion the other night about how she was convinced that I am losing my mind. She is so convinced of this fact that she has provided me with resources to seek help from a psychiatrist. She is concerned and fearful of my mental state. Apparently she is not the only one who thinks this. After that talk, I have been eating junk food non stop, smoking tons of cigarettes and sitting in front of the TV for hours. I don't want to do anything but stay awake long enough to get tired so I can go back to sleep. I've always heard that phrase, "crazy people don't know they're crazy" and if Betty is right about her suspicions, than that phrase is 100% accurate. I really don't think I'm crazy. I really don't think I'm losing my mind. I think I'm just lonely. I can't seem to find whatever it is that I'm looking for and its driving me into some deep depression. That's it. No big deal.