I Hate Summer

Oh, and welcome new followers Searchlights And IceBeams and Mister Mo. I hope you find as much entertainment here as I find on your sites.

Summer is my most hated of seasons. Casey you're a crazy person. Yes, thank you.

1. Arachnids. I enjoy the occasional jumping spider or tarantula, but I HATE black spiders, wolf spiders, house spiders, and every other spider. I also despise ticks. Last year was my first time ever experiencing a tick on my body and I will never until the day I die forget what that felt like. Thank the Bob Saget that it didn't manage to imbed its tiny head into my skin. For almost a week after that incident, every little thing I felt on my body, be it a hair, a fluff or an itch, I cringed with fear. I made Landon check my body and the bed several times before going to sleep and I showered excessively. Every little dark thing I see move across the floor or hang in midair I immediately assume is a spider and I want to squish the bejesus out of it. Its almost always an ash or a little ball of hair that I have shed at some point earlier in the day but it could have been a spider, and I want to make sure its dead.

2. Tornadoes. Every windy cloudy day sends me in a spiral of uncontrollable anxiety. I am terrified of tornadoes. Last summer I actually did pretty well. I did not have my tv on The Weather Network all day long and I did not spend way too much time staring at the purple clouds. I was out at my parents' house one day last summer though, when the tornado was on its way, and I remember freaking out and sitting on the window sill and my dad telling me to calm the fuck down and stop fear mongering my kids. The summer before that, I made Landon come home from wherever he was and pick me and Hayden up (I was pregnant with Alex at the time) and take us out of town away from the tornado until it blew over. It pouring and hailing and you couldn't see a damn thing and I'm pretty sure our car has a billion scratches on it from the falling branches but I did not care. All I could think about was how badly I needed to get the hell away from the wrath of Global Warming.

3. Gordie Howe Bowl. I am quite privileged to live in an incredible city full of culture and life and sporting events and team spirit but I hate when it invades the comfort of my home. I live almost next door to the Gordie Howe Bowl and I hear endless tings from the aluminum bats and hoots and hollars from the teenagers and over enthusiastic parents and the really loud announcers and second long clips of songs that I can never get out of my head after that THANK YOU. I do like the marching bands though.

4. Camping. I effing love camping and fishing and canoeing and everything like that....except the ticks....but every year, there is NEVER enough time or resources to go camping for more than one weekend.

5. Sexy Ladies. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a sexy lady every once in a while, but I most certainly do not enjoy the pressure of wanting to be one of those sexy ladies, nor do I enjoy seeing the not so sexy ladies dressing up in their bikinis and heading to Bare Ass Beach, or just wearing their booty shorts to better show off their muffin tops. I really don't like teenage girls who think they're too cool for school showing off their goods to every one. I don't like the drunk half nakeds wandering the streets, peeing in my parking lot, playing at the park beside my apartment and making out under the starts while I watch the creepers who live near me waiting for you two to get it on.

6. And Of Course, The Heat. I do not like hot weather. My ideal vacation would NOT be a tropical paradise with ocean view and suntanning. My ideal vacation would the Ice Hotel in Sweden. I don't like my skin sticking together. I don't like not being able to breath. I don't like my face and other exposed parts being burnt by the sun. I don't like the lake water being too cold to swim in, or too disgusting because it got too hot too fast and now there is algae. I don't like heatstroke which I get every year. I don't like not moving for fear of sweating all my energy away.

I don't like summer.